It’s over! Week spent having
shitty dreams about having babies (yay!), baby turning into puppy (crisis…) and
attempts to drown thing in bathtub
has been all but forgotten after last two days of childless bliss, (no, did NOT
drown ANYBODY), indulgent relaxation and self-reflection.
Decided today to take first
steps into becoming slinky yummy-mummy inside true self, but finding process
throughout today incredibly straining… Is both inspiring and bloody humiliating
to find big wave of junk food addiction SHAME crashing into resolve. When in fuck did I allow this to
happen???
Attitude towards self today
has gone from smug “ate-3-meals-today-without-sneaking-ten-times-as-much-crap-inbetween”,
to self-deprecating mind explosion as to WHY I was so gluttonous and sad in the
first place…
Wonderful to not have
screeching toddlers interrupting philosophical self-pity today. Have come to
realise that I have spent better part of last two year EATING
issues, despite literally wearing big-girl-panties. One cannot truly be
prepared for everything that motherhood demands, pooey little bums scooting
shit into other people’s carpets… Also the axiomatic, heartfelt obstacles like
no sleep, losing all manner of self-preservation (think graphic vaginal birth,
breastfeeding in public and suppositories) whilst trying to maintain
21st century
acceptability and keep some description of friends… coupled with things like the
narrowing of one’s sense of self at the same time as bursting delight at
unfolding personalities of the children. Life is so complicated, so
inconceivably difficult, and yet everybody’s doing it I
suppose.
Somewhere amidst musings
today came pulsing sense of excitement with having finally found answer to all
internal issues! With enormous thanks to best-half Bambi and kindred connection
Chelsea for introducing me to the Low Carb High Fat Revolution; changing the
way I criticize myself into a manner more befitting a lady who is about to shit
on the face of western nutritional ideals and also, make my daddy proud.
**Non-related picture of myself solely because I figured out how to attach things today (and it's a damn nice photo - a rarity!)... thanks Weebly.
shitty dreams about having babies (yay!), baby turning into puppy (crisis…) and
attempts to drown thing in bathtub
has been all but forgotten after last two days of childless bliss, (no, did NOT
drown ANYBODY), indulgent relaxation and self-reflection.
Decided today to take first
steps into becoming slinky yummy-mummy inside true self, but finding process
throughout today incredibly straining… Is both inspiring and bloody humiliating
to find big wave of junk food addiction SHAME crashing into resolve. When in fuck did I allow this to
happen???
Attitude towards self today
has gone from smug “ate-3-meals-today-without-sneaking-ten-times-as-much-crap-inbetween”,
to self-deprecating mind explosion as to WHY I was so gluttonous and sad in the
first place…
Wonderful to not have
screeching toddlers interrupting philosophical self-pity today. Have come to
realise that I have spent better part of last two year EATING
issues, despite literally wearing big-girl-panties. One cannot truly be
prepared for everything that motherhood demands, pooey little bums scooting
shit into other people’s carpets… Also the axiomatic, heartfelt obstacles like
no sleep, losing all manner of self-preservation (think graphic vaginal birth,
breastfeeding in public and suppositories) whilst trying to maintain
21st century
acceptability and keep some description of friends… coupled with things like the
narrowing of one’s sense of self at the same time as bursting delight at
unfolding personalities of the children. Life is so complicated, so
inconceivably difficult, and yet everybody’s doing it I
suppose.
Somewhere amidst musings
today came pulsing sense of excitement with having finally found answer to all
internal issues! With enormous thanks to best-half Bambi and kindred connection
Chelsea for introducing me to the Low Carb High Fat Revolution; changing the
way I criticize myself into a manner more befitting a lady who is about to shit
on the face of western nutritional ideals and also, make my daddy proud.
**Non-related picture of myself solely because I figured out how to attach things today (and it's a damn nice photo - a rarity!)... thanks Weebly.