Nothing inspirational or important to share besides own happy state of late.
Finally making progress in losing weight, going for walks and shifting wobbly bits, and most importantly, the weather is cooling down!
Thank fuck, honestly. Have withered through temperatures exceeding 35 degrees Celsius MORE THAN EIGHT times this year already! inescapable heat making children grumpier, not helping at all..... Boy-child has just overcome very frightening infection, worst three weeks of my life (and his, I'm sure) and now find myself simultaneously trying to get him back up to his healthy weight whilst trying very hard not to dive into scrummy food myself....
I think this is where a lot of stay-at-home mums put on weight, unaware vacuum-cleaner activity for the sake of not wasting food is definitely where my problems accelerated.
Am learning to not only steer away from "eating" my problems away, but also face them head on with a pen instead of cutlery. Writing is such a wonderful tool, so therapeutic.
Pen to paper, I feel like I am literally touching bases with myself after a long absence. As is paper surface is metaphorical mirror and am greeting myself with honesty and thoughts that I have until this point kept to myself. When else in our busy lives are we this real with ourselves? Only other rare times I can think of, when I am 100% lucid and aware of myself with perfect clarity, is perhaps in the shower (without sprogs cleaning the tiles with their toothbrushes or "shabing" mommy's legs with pretend razors). Soft, warm water washes away sense of time and any unsatisfying parts of self. ESPECIALLY if I have shaved that week.... absolute goddess for fifteen minutes before the water gets cold.
So Autumn (or "Authum" as I like to thay..) has sent a teaser to let us know its on its way and I am in a state of purr-like happiness, mostly. Little pixie fnoof daughter is starting in the Butterfly class at Sunbird come the beginning of March, and I cant help feeling that she is going to induce a state of panic for the first week or two. I have warned her school of this, and been placated with many a "Don't worry, they ALL start out like that..."
We'll see.
She is a Viking, with Nordic in her veins, a twist of that delightful Ginger-madness that I have come to love, and an Afrikaans vocabulary so slang and accomplished for a poopsie so small that I predict a total culture shock for Sunbird in the weeks to come. Face to the sunrise though, am going to take the opportunity to propel self into the snooty (yet advantageous) world of Gym and bad-ass Brad who will hopefully kick me into (fit) submission.
Have found the biggest (har har) obstacle to be own self! Surpassed the berating and self-pity, and now on an inhibition-less prowl for all the information and resources I need to arm myself with. Knowledge is power, and is also so inspiring! Can shamelessly spend HOURS browsing through weight loss testimonials, congratulating loudly like a commentator at rugby match. Good on you all, seriously. After all these hours spent studying the before and after form of mostly females, it comes as a revelation that woman is a stunning creature.
Fuck you Pressure-from-Society, misogynistic Man and especially you, Judgemental-Woman. You are villainous, slimy, and you putrefy self-esteems the world over when in actuality women, for what they are, are so explosively EXTRAORDINARY and beautiful down to the cellular level.
I could have loved myself so much more these last few years if I hadn't been so sad and worried about what other people may think of me...My wobbly bits, my cratered skin. There is no fear of ugliness when a child is born, only pure delight and total admiration for ofcourse every child is so beautiful. That awing beauty never really goes away, we just stop believing in it.
Mostly we are taught that it is something to "acquire", as if it is a privilege or a hard-earned gift.
Our physicality, the way we work is so astounding - its ART! It's MAGNIFICENCE! Put it all together and it glows.
Women especially exude a grace about them. Take the time to observe, and the simplest of movements can be so tender... actions can be so pretty and warm that it is devastating.
Love is manufactured, packaged and sold to the highest bidder these days, when all along it is right here... in this shell you're holding. Lift it to your ear and you can hear it sing. Just because you weren't listening doesn't mean it wasn't there.
The children are out with Dad right now, and I am torn between napping for as many hours as I can, watching anything ELSE than CeeBeeBee's, and reading a book.... For the first time in four years, I am reading again. Leisurely at first, and then with such thirst that I now have no new stories to read, fool! I can feel the buzz of many dormant things being awoken in my spirit. I am a born-again Optimist!
Here is a link to all the testimonials I have been cheering at:
www.beforeandafterweightloss.tumblr.com
You go, Glen coco!
Finally making progress in losing weight, going for walks and shifting wobbly bits, and most importantly, the weather is cooling down!
Thank fuck, honestly. Have withered through temperatures exceeding 35 degrees Celsius MORE THAN EIGHT times this year already! inescapable heat making children grumpier, not helping at all..... Boy-child has just overcome very frightening infection, worst three weeks of my life (and his, I'm sure) and now find myself simultaneously trying to get him back up to his healthy weight whilst trying very hard not to dive into scrummy food myself....
I think this is where a lot of stay-at-home mums put on weight, unaware vacuum-cleaner activity for the sake of not wasting food is definitely where my problems accelerated.
Am learning to not only steer away from "eating" my problems away, but also face them head on with a pen instead of cutlery. Writing is such a wonderful tool, so therapeutic.
Pen to paper, I feel like I am literally touching bases with myself after a long absence. As is paper surface is metaphorical mirror and am greeting myself with honesty and thoughts that I have until this point kept to myself. When else in our busy lives are we this real with ourselves? Only other rare times I can think of, when I am 100% lucid and aware of myself with perfect clarity, is perhaps in the shower (without sprogs cleaning the tiles with their toothbrushes or "shabing" mommy's legs with pretend razors). Soft, warm water washes away sense of time and any unsatisfying parts of self. ESPECIALLY if I have shaved that week.... absolute goddess for fifteen minutes before the water gets cold.
So Autumn (or "Authum" as I like to thay..) has sent a teaser to let us know its on its way and I am in a state of purr-like happiness, mostly. Little pixie fnoof daughter is starting in the Butterfly class at Sunbird come the beginning of March, and I cant help feeling that she is going to induce a state of panic for the first week or two. I have warned her school of this, and been placated with many a "Don't worry, they ALL start out like that..."
We'll see.
She is a Viking, with Nordic in her veins, a twist of that delightful Ginger-madness that I have come to love, and an Afrikaans vocabulary so slang and accomplished for a poopsie so small that I predict a total culture shock for Sunbird in the weeks to come. Face to the sunrise though, am going to take the opportunity to propel self into the snooty (yet advantageous) world of Gym and bad-ass Brad who will hopefully kick me into (fit) submission.
Have found the biggest (har har) obstacle to be own self! Surpassed the berating and self-pity, and now on an inhibition-less prowl for all the information and resources I need to arm myself with. Knowledge is power, and is also so inspiring! Can shamelessly spend HOURS browsing through weight loss testimonials, congratulating loudly like a commentator at rugby match. Good on you all, seriously. After all these hours spent studying the before and after form of mostly females, it comes as a revelation that woman is a stunning creature.
Fuck you Pressure-from-Society, misogynistic Man and especially you, Judgemental-Woman. You are villainous, slimy, and you putrefy self-esteems the world over when in actuality women, for what they are, are so explosively EXTRAORDINARY and beautiful down to the cellular level.
I could have loved myself so much more these last few years if I hadn't been so sad and worried about what other people may think of me...My wobbly bits, my cratered skin. There is no fear of ugliness when a child is born, only pure delight and total admiration for ofcourse every child is so beautiful. That awing beauty never really goes away, we just stop believing in it.
Mostly we are taught that it is something to "acquire", as if it is a privilege or a hard-earned gift.
Our physicality, the way we work is so astounding - its ART! It's MAGNIFICENCE! Put it all together and it glows.
Women especially exude a grace about them. Take the time to observe, and the simplest of movements can be so tender... actions can be so pretty and warm that it is devastating.
Love is manufactured, packaged and sold to the highest bidder these days, when all along it is right here... in this shell you're holding. Lift it to your ear and you can hear it sing. Just because you weren't listening doesn't mean it wasn't there.
The children are out with Dad right now, and I am torn between napping for as many hours as I can, watching anything ELSE than CeeBeeBee's, and reading a book.... For the first time in four years, I am reading again. Leisurely at first, and then with such thirst that I now have no new stories to read, fool! I can feel the buzz of many dormant things being awoken in my spirit. I am a born-again Optimist!
Here is a link to all the testimonials I have been cheering at:
www.beforeandafterweightloss.tumblr.com
You go, Glen coco!